This line completely changed how I think about mental health

I really wish someone had told me this when I was at my lowest point.

Hello friends!

To say I’ve struggled with my mental health is…an understatement. I had such bad agoraphobia in my 20s that I didn’t leave the house for an entire year, and I still deal with panic attacks from time to time. Thankfully, I’m in a much better place now, and I credit a lot of that to the fact that I’ve had the opportunity to interview some of the world’s top mental health experts.

I’m going to take a shot in the dark here and say you’ve probably heard of clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Smith. She has nearly five million followers on TikTok (I mean, how is that even possible?) and over 2 million on Instagram. With her soothing voice, Dr. Julie distills complex psychological concepts into clear, actionable tips that feel both compassionate and empowering. She also has an incredible new book out, Open When: A Companion for Life’s Twists and Turns, and it’s truly such a great read.

Dr. Julie is today’s pod guest, and I came away so inspired and enlightened by our conversation. There was one point she emphasized a lot that completely changed the way I think about mental health, and it’s truly what I wish someone had told me when I was at my lowest:

Our thoughts and feelings follow our actions, not the other way around

We often think our emotions and thoughts are what lead the way, but that’s not actually true. Psychological research shows that when you lead with your actions, your thoughts and feelings will follow. Here’s how to think about it:

💪 You can invite feelings through intentional action

We often assume emotions just show up unannounced, but in reality, we create them through what we do and don’t do. That means we’re not at the mercy of our moods; we’re shaping them all the time, often without realizing it.

📄 Planning your actions sets the emotional tone for your day

When you pre-decide your actions, whether it's a morning walk, meal prep, or blocking time for breaks, you’re essentially pre-deciding how you want to feel. Without a plan, you're more likely to default to choices that don’t support your desired state.

🤳 Common "rest" actions often backfire emotionally

Take scrolling, for example. We turn to it for a sense of rest and ease, but it often leaves us feeling agitated or depleted. The feeling we’re chasing (relaxed, restored) doesn’t come from the action we’re choosing—so it’s key to align the action with the feeling we actually want. Reading is a great alternative to choose. I know you guys have heard me reference this study 500 times, but research shows that reading for just 6 minutes reduces stress by up to 68%.

From the episode:

“I've been in therapy with people who had no hope and therefore just didn't see any point in living…I remember saying to people to allow me to hold that hope for them while they just put in the work.

Because the feeling often comes after the action. So sometimes you just have to move in the direction that you hope to be in. The emotion is often a consequence of the positive action, so sometimes you have to keep going in the direction that you know to be right and true.”

The takeaway:

If you’re depressed or anxious, don’t wait until you feel better to get up and leave the house. Get up and leave the house now. That action alone is the most important step you can take to start feeling better.

For more incredible advice from Dr. Julie, including how to stop rumination in its tracks and the #1 thing that helped when she received a devastating health diagnosis, head over to today’s episode of The Liz Moody Podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

Love you guys!

Xo,

Liz

P.S. Paying subscribers always get access to key episode takeaways and a downloadable transcript. We also have a bonus issue coming out on Friday that addresses my fear of flying and how I cope with it. You don’t want to miss out on that one, trust me!

Key takeaways

Your attention is everything

Where you place your attention determines your emotional state. Many of us are unknowingly feeding anxiety and stress by constantly checking our phones or immersing ourselves in negative news. Being intentional with your attention—especially during “in-between” moments—can have a powerful impact on your mental health.

Addiction to technology is not a moral failing

If you struggle to stop scrolling or to do the things that make you feel better, it's not because you're lazy. Tech platforms are designed to be addictive. Recognizing this can help you build more self-compassion and create plans to circumvent these habits, like replacing evening scroll sessions with restorative alternatives that meet your true needs.