This is the most nerve-wracking episode I've ever put out into the world

Not me over here with the worst vulnerability hangover.

Hello friends!

I’m taking lots of long inhales and exhales right now, because I just released a solo mini-ep that has me feeling extremely vulnerable. And you guys know I’ve released vulnerable episodes before (check out the embryo-freezing podcast I recorded with Zack if you don’t believe me), but this one feels extra scary to put out into the world.

Why? Because it’s about my insecurities.

I know I come across as confident on social media—and for the most part, that’s real. I’ve done a lot of hard work to get here. But this episode pulls back the curtain on the parts of me that still struggle, because let’s be honest—healing our insecurities is a lifelong journey.

There’s one insecurity topic that I’m especially anxious about sharing with you all:

I can be very insecure about my appearance

I always tell you all that your body is for living, not looking. And I truly do believe that! But that doesn’t mean I’m not aware of what the “ideal” face and body look like to our society, and I know I don’t fit that exact archetype.

So, what am I insecure about specifically?

Well, first of all, my height. I’m five foot one and a half—the half matters! But when I meet you guys in person, the #1 thing you say to me is that you’re surprised by how short I am. Being petite has meant a lifetime of hemming pants and being called "cute" instead of being assigned adjectives like beautiful or sexy. Because of that, I leaned into being the “funny one.” And because my blue eyes were the one thing people complimented, I fixated on them, thinking they were the only part of me worth noticing.

If you think I look tall-ish in this photo, well…that was intentional.

Then there are the insecurities about my body. Growing up, I was told that women in my family had big hips and butts and that we needed to keep them in check. That mindset stuck with me—I saw my body as something to control, not love. Even as I got older and healthier, I still struggled, especially in an online world where thinness and a specific kind of beauty often get rewarded. It’s hard not to wonder if people will take your advice seriously when your body doesn’t match their idea of “ideal.”

But I’m actively working to reframe these thoughts. When I think about the features I once wished away, like my hips, my hairline, and my snaggle tooth (topics I get into more in the episode), I try to see them as links to my ancestors and to all the people who came before me. That connection feels powerful.

Every body is a bikini body! (But also, I am sometimes insecure in a bikini).

I also intentionally fill my social media with a broader range of beauty and aging role models. It’s a small step, but seeing diverse, confident people, especially women aging visibly and fabulously, reminds me that beauty isn’t about fitting in. It’s about standing out, being fully yourself, and celebrating what makes you different.

From the episode:

“My hairline has driven me nuts since I was 11 years old. I didn't know it was bad before then, and then I was at tennis camp over the summer and I was wearing a visor with a ponytail and one of the other kids at camp asked why you could see bald spots behind the visor—it was because I have a big old forehead and I have a really high hairline.

And I was like, oh, okay. I guess that's a problem. And to this day, I see the girlies with their slick buns and I'm like, wow, I could never, like that is not available to me.”

The takeaway:

Most of us are a little bit insecure. But what’s really helped me is to reframe the narrative—not just by saying things “my body is for living, not looking” (although that helps). I also think about the rich history that comes with the shape of my body and how the way I look connects me with my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and beyond. That connection feels really powerful to me.

For more insights into my insecurities, including a self-defeating thought I struggle with almost daily and how I’m working through it, head over to today’s episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube.

Substack is such a special place where I feel like I can be open about this stuff in a different way, and I really appreciate that about this platform. Thanks for hanging out with me here!

Xo,

Liz

P.S. Paying subscribers always get key takeaways from the episode plus the full episode transcript, but that’s not all! You’ll also get bonus Q&As, community-minded challenges for helping you live your best life, and other content that you won’t find on my podcast or socials. I hope you’ll join in on the fun!

Key takeaways

1. Insecurities are a universal part of being human

Everyone has insecurities—even the people we admire most. Our brains are wired to scan for threats, which can include internal fears about not being good enough. Acknowledging the "why" behind our insecurities helps us meet them with more compassion and less shame.

2. Appearance-based insecurities often start early and run deep

I share candid stories about feeling self-conscious about my height, hairline, body shape, and aging. These insecurities were shaped by societal beauty standards, personal experiences, and familial messaging. Over time, they compounded, especially working in social media, where appearance is often unfairly linked to value and success.