Is being single the secret to better health?

Turns out this whole marriage thing is probably one big scam.

Hello friends!

It’s not exactly a secret that Zack and I have been together for what feels like forever. We’ve been married for almost a decade now! As I’ve sat atop this coupled-up mountain that society deems superior to singlehood, friends have repeatedly told me they’re sad about being single. They want a partner to go through life with, and they want to get married.

It’s always hard to know what to say to them, which I’d had Meghan Keane’s rich insights earlier. Meghan is today’s podcast guest, and a longtime NPR producer—she helped launch Invisibilia, TED Radio Hour, and Life Kit—and now she’s the author of the eye-opening new book Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life Partner. In it, she challenges everything we’ve been told about marriage and makes a compelling case for why single life can be just as rich, fullfilling, and healthy as being coupled up.

The biggest and most helpful takeaway I got from our conversation was this:

Being single could actually be better for your health than being married

Is this always the case? Of course not. But Meghan highlights some really solid science around the benefits of singlehood, including:

👯‍♀️ Single people often have more diverse social connections

Rather than relying on one person for all emotional and logistical support (as many couples do), single people tend to cultivate a wider web of friendships, community ties, and chosen family. This kind of social diversity is actually more protective for mental and physical health than a romantic partnership alone. And of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the Harvard Study of Adult Development (which we talk about in the episode), that shows it’s the quality and variety of your relationships—not marital status—that predict a long, healthy life.

😕 Embracing singlehood means you’re less likely to stay stuck in an unhealthy relationship

Meghan points out that many people stay in unhappy or even toxic partnerships because they’re afraid of being alone. But the data shows that people in unhappy marriages are often less happy and have worse health outcomes than single people. Destigmatizing singleness can empower people to make healthier choices rather than staying in a harmful dynamic out of fear.

🧶 The solitude of not being coupled up gives you space to know yourself and align with your values

Rather than obsessively chasing a partner, Meghan suggests that time alone can help you build “harmonious passion” for life—engaging with activities, friendships, and personal growth in a way that nourishes your well-being. This can lead to a greater sense of agency, lower stress, and a more authentic connection to your values, all of which contribute to long-term emotional health.

From the episode:

“When I read [The Harvard Study of Adult Development], I see that marriage is not singled out as the type of connection that is the most protective for your health and happiness. The leader of the study talks about how it is your mentors, your weak ties, like your acquaintances, that all of this builds up.

I just want to shout from the rooftops because it is so in conflict with this idea that you have to have one person be or be all, end all kind of relationship when a reality is that I think single people know that they have to have a diverse set of connections and why aren't we all looking to that and being like, that's what we all need, right? That's what we all need to go for, for a happier, healthier life.”

The takeaway:

Your relationship status isn’t what matters, your connections are. This week, invest in the relationships that nourish you: schedule a walk with a friend, call someone you miss, or even make a new social plan. A well-rounded support system is one of the most powerful things you can do for your health.

For more life-changing insights from Meghan, including why so many of our ideas about marriage are based on a post–World War II fantasy, how venting can backfire, and the one mindset shift that makes dating (or not dating) way less miserable, head over to today’s episode of The Liz Moody Podcast on Spotify, Apple, or YouTube.

Are you single? If so, do you feel “behind” or like your existence doesn’t feel like “enough” for our society? Let me know in the comments!

Xo,

Liz

P.S. Paid subscribers will always get key takeaways from each episode, full episode transcripts, and life-changing bonus content every Friday. This Friday, we have an episode about how bad Botox really is for us (I know I’ve been teasing this for a while, but it’s actually happening! We’re just trying to make it perfect). If you’re not yet a paying subscriber, there’s no time like the present to upgrade!

Key takeaways